Overthinking Ruined My Peace(I'm trying to fix it)

 Well it's been some time since I've written a blog post, I mean I was thinking about writing one but i was really lazy and procrastinating about it...

This post is just about how my mental health has been lately and how I'm doing mentally and the things I've done to overcome the things going on in my mind.

Firstly, Mentally I have not been at peace... I don't know the reason it's just that I have been overthinking about everything, by everything I mean EVERYTHING!!. To sum it up I generally am a very anxious person and my anxiety leads to overthinking, sometimes I just feel like taking my brain out of my head and throwing it away, it's that bad.

So because of my overthinking my relationship with my girl was going downhill. We fought almost everyday, luckily for me she's patient with me and listens, even when I don't make sense, but I felt bad for how I was treating her so I decided to change and stop overthinking. But it isn't that easyyy, I mean overthinking is not like some bad habit that you can quit in a day, overthinking is your brains coping mechanism that wants to save you from getting hurt by thinking about all the scenarios that could go wrong. So it just isn't easy....

I tried to stop it by suppressing all my emotions but it didn't go so well, i suppressed all my feelings for like 3 days on the 4th day at night I couldn't take it anymore and just burst into tears for no reason. I mean tears were just flowing from my eyes without any control. I wanted to talk to someone so I called my gf, I couldn't even speak to her properly. She kept asking me what is wrong... tell me what happened so I can help, but I couldn't speak after a bit I calmed down. Then I spoke to her properly.

So that was one heck of a day... But after that day I realized I have to change myself at least for this girl because she doesn't deserve the shit I make her go through because of my freaking mind! So i promised myself that I'm gonna change.

I'm writing this post like a week after the incident, and these are the things I'm doing to better myself and stop overthinking:

•  Listen to music, I know this isn't some new way to help yourself to get through your mental health, I just added it here because it is one of the things I do. I've been listening to a lot of J.cole's music, especially his new and maybe final album "The Fall-off", I'm listening to it as I'm writing this post.
• Keep myself busy, keeping yourself busy helps in keeping your mind from being silent, because keeping your mind silent means giving your mind a chance to overthink. How I keep myself busy? I either study or I mean try to study LOL, other than that I draft some post on my blog to post some other day or just do something that I like doing.
• Here's one more thing I do, as soon as I start overthinking I start hitting some pushups. I don't know why but it helps it kind of snaps me out of it.

So these are the things that help me, I know I'm still not fixed my mind still spirals into places sometimes, but I'm trying and I think that counts.

I know a lot of you are going through the same or even worse situations than me but all I want to say is you do not have to blame yourself, do not hate yourself for being anxious and overthinking. I know I used to blame myself but I don't anymore. It might not feel ok right now but it does get easier to handle little by little.

Hope this post helps, let me know if you have any suggestions that can help me and others overcome these problems.

Thankyou!